The Monday after Mother's Day I arrived to work as usual at Computer Co. to find that the Mr and I along with many other's were being laid off. The Company was thinning down to a bare bones crew in a last ditch attempt to make a save. I guess I could see this coming since I have worked for other companies in the past that were forced into mass layoffs but for some reason it was still a surprise to me (not the good kind). My heart just broke for all of the people coming into the office only to find out it would be their last day. All of us just stared blankly at each other some of us with tears in our eyes wondering just what would be next and what everyone else was going to do now. I knew one thing for sure.... we were no longer on the market to buy a house.
So many emotions were running high that last day at Computer Co and for some the invisible pink slip has caused many more days of emotional upset. Am I angry about this situation? Do I blame anyone for this? My answer is simple: No. I know in my heart no one would plan this and everyone involved wish things could be otherwise. I just feel sadness when thinking of how things have turned out and how so many dreams were crushed by a beaten down economy.
After talks, tears and the weighing of pros and cons the Mr and I have decided to head back home to Tulsa, OK. Some might think I am running back with my tail between my legs embarrassed BUT I AM NOT. Many of you do not know this because I always try to keep things light but this past year has been pretty hard on me. I stopped making phone calls to family and friends back home because it only reminded me of how much I missed them. I just couldn't deal with the let down of realizing how far away I was from where my heart was. The Mr & B were not fooled by my fake smiles and the way I filled my days. They knew. The only person I was fooling was myself and I wasn't doing a very good job of that either. I have dealt with so many days of depression that I don't ever want to count them out into weeks or months. I want to move on. I want to feel happy again. I want to look forward and see this Journey Home as a new page in our lives. Things will not all be the same as when we left. We will find new jobs, a new home, new schools but thankfully all of the old family and friends will be there to welcome us. For This I am thankful and hopeful of what is to come for us.
6 comments:
I am SO SORRY to hear about this and have been wondering where you had disappeared to.
If anyone - ANYONE - thinks that you are "running home with your tail between your legs" then they have no idea what it takes to leave behind everything you know and love, and move halfway across the country into the unknown. You should hold your head high - most people are too afraid to ever leave their comfort zone. You did something that most people will never attempt... Be proud of yourself.
When will you all be leaving Portland?
We are driving out July 1st. Miss B still has school until the 23rd of this month and we wanted her to be able to complete the school year here.
Are y'all sending Bailey to Mizel in the fall? Suzanne Wolfe was excited at the possibility even though she's teaching 3rd grade next year.
We're all psyched you're coming back to Tulsa! I'm so sorry this all happened to you though. Let us know if there is anything we can do to make the transition back easier. We'd love to get together as soon as you're ready.
Hey Kally,
I should probably email this, but I'm here, so I'll just make a little comment.
I'm so sorry the economy has hit you and your family - it completely sucks. My husband (a teacher) has had his salary frozen for next year and we are on the verge of "struggling" as it is (having a new child does that I guess!) and that is partly why we are looking to move.
Being closer to family will be a good thing - nothing better than having the ones that love you to help you through crap times.
I think you will need new stationery for your new address...what do you think? Please email your favorite design and I'd like to send you some in the mail (free of charge, of course!)
Chloe
I've been wondering what was going on. I know that you never really settled in and while the reason you've moving back home is SO unfortunate...you must be thrilled about getting back to Tulsa.
Dang girl! What a crappy Mother's Day present! I'm so sorry about the jobs. Sometimes I think things happen for a reason (even if they are really crappy things for reasons we can't figure out) so maybe this happened because you need to be back in Tulsa. Good luck with the move. I'm sending you positive thoughts and virtual hugs :)!
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